May, 2008

I’ve been reading a book by Sue Monk Kidd, the author of The Secret Life of Bees (one of my favorite books – if you haven’t read it I highly recommend it) called While the Heart Waits.  It’s a book about the seasons of the heart, particularly the times in life when we need to stop and wait in a holding pattern for whatever’s coming next.  She uses the analogy of cocooning; going in as a caterpillar and coming out as a butterfly to describe the process of personal transformation. 

Here’s a quote that I found particularly compelling;

“When the fullness of time comes, a sacred voice at the heart of us cries out, shaking the old foundation.  It draws us into a turbulence that forces us to confront our deepest issues.  It's as if some inner, divine grace seeks our growth and becoming and will plunge us, if need be, into a cauldron that seethes with questions and voices we would just as soon not hear.  One way or another, the false roles, identities, and illusions spill over the sides of our life, and we're forced to stand in the chaos. 

Crisis, change, all the myriad upheavals that blister the spirit and leave us groping -- they aren't voices simply of pain but also of creativity.  And if we would only listen, we might hear such times beckoning us to a season of waiting, to the place of fertile emptiness."

This is what St. John of the Cross described as “The Dark Night of the Soul”; a time to sit in the dark with our own demons until the light of dawn leads us into the promise of a new day.  I feel as if I’m just entering one of these times in my life – a season of waiting.  I consider it a serendipitous gift that my sabbatical is just around the corner and that I’ll have the opportunity to take a significant chunk of time to simply wait in the dark, to gestate whatever it is in me that’s longing to be born.  It will also be a time for you to go through a parallel process; taking some time as a spiritual community to stop and examine your deepest issues to see what’s longing to be born in you.  I’m looking forward to sharing this journey with you.  Thank you so much for the opportunity to grow myself in the context of my ministry. 

Faithfully Yours, Carol